Who Said What
Road Rules: Who Said What:
Program One and Two: CLIP A KOALA TO YOUR COLLAR
"What is this? Some kind of after school special?!" -- Susie, as the others ask if she has ever taken drugs
"I drive better when you're quiet!" -- Christina to Shayne while behind the wheel
"Do you realize how long we sit around and talk about nothing?!" -- Chad, on extended Winnie Conversations
"Give me some pearls, darling - I love pearls." -- Keefla, putting his drag outfit together
"I need to buy some fags." -- Piggy, using Brit-speak to confess her desire for cigarettes
"I can't pronounce 'R' because I sucked by thumb until I was ten." -- Shayne, when the others notice his accent
Program Three: GOT MILK?
"You're treating him like Elvis - dead, but still here." -- Kefla, as Piggy gives Chad the cold shoulder
"It's on my f*cking backpack -- read it!" -- Chad, furious when Piggy can't remember his name
"I promise I'll show my butt tomorrow." -- Shayne getting the girls' hopes up
"It's been so hard coming off Prozac." -- Christina, jokingly explaining her bad mood
"I heard that putting your own urine on your skin will clear it up -- should I try it?" -- Susie asking for advice
"I feel like I'm one of those big fat truckers!" -- Piggy, behind the wheel of the Winnie
Program Four: WHERE'S THERE'S SMOKE, THERE'S A MISSION
"I'm a lezbo magnet." -- Christina, complaining that boys back home never ask her out
"Your nipples look like party hats." -- Shayne to Susie
"Everything we want to do is copy-written!" -- Susie, denied permission to put a Michael Jackson photo on the bull horns
"I look taut if I don't drink water." -- Piggy, offering her secret to smoother skin
"I dated a Playboy model." -- Chad
"I want proof!" -- Kefla responding to Chad's brag
Program 5: FAST FOOD DRIVE THROUGH
"Every guy thinks with his smaller head." -- Shayne, giving Susie a clue
"I need to get my mind off Timmy and onto the food!" -- Susie, torn during the cooking mission
"Come on people, you're pissing on the wheels of progress!" -- Kefla, trying to get his road-mates motivated
"It's not because he's short, or because he looks like Brandon Walsh from 90210." -- Piggy, beginning a lecture on why she wouldn't have sex with Chad
"Is it hotter for you because you're black?" -- Christina, trying to understand Kefla on a sunny day
"That was the best moment of my life!" -- Chad, watching Piggy set her fart on fire
Program 6: ALIENS ABDUCT ROAD RULERS!
"Can we please kick their asses?" -- Christina, desperate to win a mission, to Chad
"If they've met E.T., I'm not leaving the house." -- Shayne, on the way to interview the abductees
"When you open your mouth, you're always wrong." -- Piggy to -- who else? -- Chad
"You're kind of like a thorn in our asses." -- Chad to -- who else? -- Piggy
"The reason we can't just let it slide is because we like her." -- Susie, explaining why someone needs to talk to Piggy
"I've been tied up and blindfolded to a waterbed." -- Kefla, describing his kinkiest moment
Program 7: HOW NOT TO DROWN IN THE OCEAN OF PIGGY TENSION!
"It's like talking to my dog and trying to reason with him." -- Christina, on communicating with Piggy
"Get that tongue out!" -- Shayne, to Christina before she receives CPR
"Oh, thank you Jesus! The sea is evil!" -- Kefla, after being "saved" by the life guards
"Instant family. Instant fridge." -- Chad, regarding their stay at the beach house
"You gotta pull your togs up your butt." -- Susie, to the guys about getting dressed for the beach
"Everyone sits around and kisses Kefla's ass." -- Piggy, on the group's treatment of Kefla
Program 8: TEACHING TO LEARN
"You need to share this with the world." -- Susie, to Piggy regarding her wild hair
"After two glasses of wine real fast, I'm sure I do." -- Chad, responding to Piggy's remark that he's sexy
"Maybe he only recognizes me from the waist down, but he's cute." -- Piggy, about a child that follows her around
"The smallest thing you do normally turns out to be the biggest thing." -- Kefla, on the effectiveness of small actions
"Today's movie is 'Boring, Endless Highway." -- Shayne, playing the part of flight attendant on the Winnie
"I think I've seen that one before." -- Christina, responding to Shayne's announcement
Program 9: CROC FARMING AND SUSIE BLOSSOMING
"My hair's porous. As natural as it looks, it's dyed." -- Susie, reddening her pigtails
"Not unlike many a rock star." -- Shayne, after being told a croc can drown in its own vomit
"I'm giddy with joy. I love doing trailer park things." -- Christina, preparing to bowl
"If one of us gets eaten, there'll be more room in the Winnie." --Chad, on the benefit of someone getting swallowed
"See how you have to come prepared? You never know." -- Kefla, about the condom he used on the croc
"Frighteningly enormous." -- Piggy, about the size of a, er…croc
Program 10: A GHOST THRIVES BETTER THAN PIGGY DRIVES
"Sometimes, I just like to chew like a cow." -- Susie, on her gum enjoyment
"You don't have to do nothin' except sit down on your behind." -- Kefla, to Piggy about dealing with the damage estimate
"I don't think she'll like you." -- Shayne, to Chad about the ghost
"The delivery on that was so authentic." --Christina, on Susie's use of profanity
"I guess she likes fluoride." -- Chad, regarding the ghost and the missing toothpaste
"I don't want to have a chat with a person who's dead." --Piggy, to Susie about staying in the haunted room
Program 11: AN ORDER OF FOOTIE WITH A SIDE OF FLIRTING
"Bye horns." -- Susie, saying goodbye to the horns attached to the Winnie
"It's the first one I've seen since looking in the mirror this morning." -- Kefla, on seeing a black person (Roni)
"Huge f—king surprise." -- Piggy, on the fact that Coach Shane is concentrating on Susie
"If he gets through this, he's Houdini." --Dan, the "he" being his penis, as he tapes down his shorts
"I think anybody's game right now." -- Christina, on the cast's eagerness for "physical" contact
"We're all gonna die." ---Shayne, learning about Aussie Rules Football
Program 12: AUSTRALIAN RULES ROMANCE
"You're so filthy!" -- Christina, to Oscar regarding his sexual ways
"You like my explosions." -- Oscar, to Christina after she calls him a firecracker
"She's a feisty little thing." -- Game Commentator, on Piggy's aggression
"We can make bubbles." --Coach Shane, to Susie on the natural way of creating a bubble bath
"They're either gay or live in Australia." -- Susie, on the problem with men
"Urrrghhh!" --- Chris, hitting the grass hard
Program 13: END OF THE ROAD
"Remember when we were humiliated? Oh, that was every time." -- Susie, recalling the missions
"I can't imagine Kefla calling me and saying 'Hey, girlfriend! What's up?" -- Piggy, on the future of the cast
"Where are the nicotine poster girls?" -- Shayne, looking for Christina and Piggy
"Don't you just love the smell of fear in the morning?" --A sign hanging inside the Sidney Skydiving Centre
"Yeah, you seem to have that down." -- Chad, to Piggy when she mentions a way of NOT making friends
"You guys, I love you." -- Christina, not afraid to say it
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